Monday, August 30, 2010

Fitting In

Recently I met with a gentleman in his 70’s.  He is a terrific man with years and years of experience as a lay leader in the Church.  It was lunch time as we sat down at a local Panera.
After some initial chit chat, we leaned into the heart of the matter.  This gentle Godly man was wrestling with his place in church.  After decades of service and teaching others, he was now at a place where he couldn’t figure out where he fit in the greater body of Christ.  For years he identified himself as someone who could teach and lead others through the Bible.  He loved nothing more than to communicate the Truths of scripture to a room full of hungry minds and hearts.  Recently though, his hearing has been failing.  With tears in his eyes he explained that he no longer can lead discussions with more than 2-3 people.  His ears are not able to filter out the background “noise” enough to stay focused.
This is a true tragedy in his life.  He no longer feels sure that he has a real place in the Church.  With humility and sincerity, he looks me square in the eyes and asks, “Where do I fit?  What do I have to offer any more?”
His question broke my heart.  Were there ways as a church that we had dropped the ball in this man’s life?  How had we let a man with so much wisdom, experience and knowledge feel so undervalued during the autumn of his life?  If he was feeling these things, then there must be others as well in similar situations with similar questions.
Looking into his eyes, it was clear what one of the answers was.  He needed to pour his years of faith into the lives of the generations behind him.  Though he is unable to lead a room full of people, he can still sit across from a man and impart wisdom and grace.  I replied, “You have so much to offer!  In this season of life, we as a church need your knowledge, wisdom and experience to be poured into and reproduced in the lives of other men.  Would you be willing to mentor others?”  I could see the idea filter through this seasoned saint.  Slowly, like a washcloth absorbing spilled milk, the idea soaked in.  With renewed light in his eyes he said, “I think I could do that.”  
Its been several weeks since we met and he is now mentoring a 50 year old gentleman.  He has renewed passion and a greater commitment than ever to reproducing Christlike vision, values and beliefs in others.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

When God Changes Hearts


1 Samuel 10:9  As Saul turned to leave Samuel, God changed Saul's heart, and all these signs were fulfilled that day. 

This is an interesting passage.  God is using the prophet Samuel to speak some hard truths into Saul's life.  To sum it up (and oversimplify) God wants Saul to do some things that Saul doesn't want to do.  Samuel is being used by God to lay out this new plan for Saul's immediate future.  Interestingly enough though, Saul isn't picking up what Samuel is putting down.  There isn't even an argument.  Its simple.  After hearing this powerful message from God's anointed prophet, we are left with the impression that Saul says kindly, "No thanks."

Yet the story here is not about Saul's unwillingness to make a course correction in his life.  No.  The big idea is that God leans into Saul's heart, and changes it.  Like flipping a light switch.  God's response is immediate and powerful.  Its as though God says, "Well I gave you a chance to make the right decision on your own.  But I'm not going to wait around for you to get you head straight.  So, I'll just change your mind for you and point you in the right direction."  Wow.  This really blows up some of the Free Will vs. Predestination theological discussions I had in college.  Without giving those from each camp the opportunity to drag me behind the shed and rough me up, I want to share a story from my recent trip to Haiti.  

For several months our partners in Haiti (heartlineministries.org) have been negotiating with gang leaders in Cite Soleil.  We are asking for their permission to sponsor 50 children from their areas to attend school.  This should be a very straightforward proposition.  In an area ravaged by poverty, violence and ignorance, who wouldn’t want to give children an opportunity to rise above these circumstances?  And yet, it’s not that simple.  Our request becomes a power play where the local gang members want complete control over the money.

It is at this time that our team enters the picture.  A small group of us had come down to Heartline to help finish up an office for the Mid-wife center and to oversee the purchase of the new property.  In the midst of this work, John (the founder of Heartline Ministries) suggests we go with him into Cite Soleil to meet with the gang leaders to see if we could persuade them to accept our offer.  “Great”, we say.  Sounds like a plan.

When we drive into Cite Soleil it becomes immediately clear that there is a spiritual darkness present.  Everything feels heavier.  The air feels thicker.  We park the truck and climb out.  As the only white folks for miles—we draw quite a crowd.  Young men begin filing into the street to check us out.  Not one of them is older than 25.  Each looks us up and down, all the while puffing up their chests.  It is clear that we are not entirely welcomed here.

After a few minutes the “Leader” shows up and directs us to a building across the street.  We will be meeting on the second floor of a very basic concrete block building.  There is some confusion though.  The door is locked and no one can find the key.  A young man picks up a rock and begins bashing the lock.  Under normal circumstances this would not feel strange.  But standing in the middle of the street in 120 degree heat feeling fully exposed, the sound of the rock rebounding off the metal door sets my nerves on edge.

Finally the door is opened and the six of us are ushered up to a 10 by 10 foot room.  Some time ago the room was used as a pregnancy clinic.  Hanging on the wall are posters of women holding babies, breastfeeding and advertisements for condoms.  It feels a little surreal.  There are small benches lining the walls that we sit on.  Once seated, about ten Haitian young men file in.  We are packed in shoulder to shoulder.  It’s cramped, hot and sticky.  The heat index in the room easily must have hit 130 degrees.  To add to our physical discomfort, one of the young men walks across the room, pulls a latex glove out of a box and begins methodically pulling it on and off his left hand.  The strange sound of latex snapping through his fingers adds a “special” level of tension to the proceedings.

After opening with a prayer the negotiations begin.  John lays out again the vision for sponsoring 50 children from the area to attend school.  It’s a solid and basic presentation.  We are inviting the gang leaders to select the children, then we will provide school uniforms, books and supplies, register with the school and feed the children one meal a day.  That’s it.  The leaders take this all in without interrupting.  When John is finished they explain how important this project is to them, how much they respect John, and how we need to move in small steps to begin to trust one another.  Everything is sounding great.  It looks like we will be able to lock this thing down in a matter of minutes.  There are smiles all around the room.   Then they present their counter-proposal.

With straight faces they explain that they will not allow us to sponsor kids.  Instead, they are requiring Heartline to foot the bill for an entire school that will take place in the very building that we are meeting in.  The paper they hand us has an itemized list of the materials and labor needed to get this school up and running.  John is bewildered.  The idea of starting a school has never been mentioned before.  None of us are quite sure what to make of it.  John asks them where they plan on getting administrators and teachers.  “We will be the Principal, teacher and administrators.”, says the leader pointing around at the ten 20 year olds packed into the room.  This is clearly an absurd idea and to John’s credit he doesn’t laugh out loud.  It becomes obvious though, that these men want money.  The proposal of a school is a “Magoffin” to get Heartline to hand them over control of the money.  They even go so far as to say that they will name the school after John.  It’s all very strange.

John takes a moment to absorb it all.  He then explains that it is not our intention to launch a school.  We are only interested in sponsoring 50 children.  We will not be providing money for them to open a school.  This does not go over well.  The smiles that were present just minutes ago have all been replaced with stern looks of displeasure.  The mood in the room turns a distinctly negative corner.  John is at a loss as to what more to say.  The gang leaders are unwilling to move from their position, and we are unwilling to move from ours.  Things are not looking good. 

As if tensions weren’t high enough, men have begun gathering outside the building.  Word has spread that “white folks” are in the area; and that usually means money is passing hands.  The men outside are taking it as a personal affront that they have not been included in the discussions.  They begin yelling, hollering and banging on the door.  From inside the concrete oven that we are meeting in, it sounds like a riot is forming.  This is not putting anyone at ease.

Our hosts begin slowly filing outside to try and mediate the situation.  Within moments the six of us are left alone in our little cement cell.  I lean over to John and ask, “Should we get out of here?”  I don’t remember his exact reply, but it was something like, “Now is not a good time.  We might get shot if we step out now.”  The reality of the situation floods over me.  We are not in the safest of situations.  There is a very real possibility that things could turn dramatically south for the six of us.

I begin thinking through all the possibilities.  My mind is now a little engine of options. 

“If they break through, maybe we could fight our way out of the building.  But wait, that still leaves us deep within Cite Soleil – not an option.”  “If they break through, maybe they will want to hold us hostage.  That’s not encouraging.”  “If the leaders calm things down, then they can come in and escort us out.  But they’re already frustrated with us.  They don’t look like they are willing to do us any favors.  Again, not an option.”

Finally, my mind settles on the only real option left – pray for God’s favor and intervention.  It was abundantly clear that the only way we were going to make it out of our ten by ten foot hot box was if God’s Spirit intervened in a very real and specific way.  Looking around the room at the other five guys, I could tell we had all reached the same conclusion.  The fervent prayers being lifted up to God in that room felt almost tangible.

In the middle of the screaming and yelling taking place outside, one of the men asked if any of us would like a soda.  It was clear that the offer met two goals for the gang leaders.  One, it was their way of demonstrating that everything was under control (which it didn’t at all appear to be), and two, they wanted to see if we were cool headed enough to sit and drink a Coke in front of them.  Several of our team initially turned down the offer until John half-jokingly leaned over and said, “If you don’t drink a soda, they might kill you.”  John has a peculiar sense of humor some times.  Needless to say, we each sucked down our Cokes quite greedily after his comment.

Several long minutes later, one of the young men that had been beating on the door came rushing into our room dripping in sweat and looking crazed.  I was prepared for the worst.  Yet, other than looking like a mad man, he went around nervously shaking all our hands then sat himself down on one of the benches.  Soon after, the rest of the original group eased their way back into the room.  It was at this point that a new representative began detailing again how they were only going to allow us to give them money for a school that they could run.  The discussion was going nowhere.  Back and forth we would go.  Over and over John would explain that we were not interested in giving them any money and certainly were not planning on starting a school.  Each of our refusals was met with increased tension and growing animosity.  I was beginning to get more and more concerned with our ability to extricate ourselves from the situation.  The eyes of the men in the room were turning colder and colder.  Nothing was moving forward and we had nothing to bargain with.  Leaning over to John I whispered, “I think its time we move in whatever direction gets everyone out of here in one piece.”  He replied softly, “I agree.”  The problem was that neither John nor anyone else knew how to do that.

Sitting there in that oppressive heat and tension I kept praying for God’s Spirit to move, for Him to give John the wisdom and words that would enable us to leave peacefully.  Then in happened.  John lifted his head up and said, “I think we are done here.”  It was as though a wind gently blew through the faces, minds and hearts of these young hardened gang leaders.  Their reply to John after two long hours of high tension, posturing and disagreement was, “Well, OK.  We would be happy to do everything you are asking of us.”  Wow.  It was such an amazing and instantaneous change that it was apparent that God had entered in.

Like Saul with Samuel, God gave these young Haitian men the opportunity to make the right choice and get their heads around God’s direction.  When it was obvious that they wouldn’t, He moved supernaturally to change their hearts.  The vision that God had birthed in John was going to be fulfilled one way or another.  Though from our human eyes it appeared that everything was falling apart, God’s plan was never truly in doubt.  How amazing and humbling it is to know that the very hearts of men are within God’s control.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Safety First?

Dirty Jobs, with Mike Rowe was one of my favorite shows.  Week after week Mike joins in doing the jobs that civilized society needs, but doesn’t like to talk about.  Sewer technician, Pig wrangler, Horse inseminator, Livestock Recycler, etc.  Fascinating stuff.  Mike tells the story of being 100 miles off the cost of Russia in the Bering Sea in thirty-foot seas with a crew of Alaskan Crab fisherman.  An unimaginably dangerous environment.  Some of the men are hauling in “crab pots” while other guys are busy with sledgehammers knocking ice off railings, equipment and the deck.  If this isn’t done, the ship will become top heavy and capsize! 
Mike comes in off the deck and heads up to the wheelhouse.  He walks through the door, looks at the Captain and says, “OSHA!?”  The Captain laughs and replies, “Its not my job to bring these men home safe.  Its my job to bring them home rich.”  Wow.  Let that idea crash over you for a moment.  If safety was the first priority of an Alaskan Crab Fisherman then he should never step on the boat.  Safety and fishing for crab are mutually exclusive.  The captain isn’t trying to be careless or cavalier about the lives of his crew.  He understands though, that his primary job is to provide them opportunities to become the best fisherman they can be.  Danger is inherent in what they do.
I hear Jesus saying the same thing. “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” (Mark 8:35)  Jesus’ primary concern is not my safety.  His invitation is, “come and die.”  Come and give all that you have for others.  To be a follower of Christ and to be concerned about my safely is a contradiction.  Again Jesus says, “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”  His job is to make me the best fisherman I can be.  If safety was my primary concern, then I should have never stepped into this boat of faith.
How many times have I felt God’s leading in a certain direction, and my first response has been one of fear.  Of questioning my own safety, my own perceived status, my own comfort.  That has to drive Jesus nuts.  He has stated so clearly and in so many ways that this journey of faith will not be easy, comfortable or safe.  What it will be—if I enter into it fully—is challenging, transforming, exciting, heartbreaking, passionate, world changing and dangerous.  I’m tired of living life with my main axiom of faith being, “Safety First”.  What does this mean going forward?  I’m not sure, but it begins by saying yes much more than no to the stirrings of the Spirit in my heart and mind.

Be Clean

Recently I was studying the story of Jesus healing the leper in Matthew 8.  Here was a man who had been pushed to the edges of society both relationally and geographically.  For the duration of his disease he had been removed from his home and forced to live among the garbage at the city dump.  Additionally he was ordered to swing a bell and exclaim, “Unclean, unclean!”, whenever he was near others.  His status in society had fallen to the point where others were given the right to beat him with sticks if they felt he had come too close.  On the “ladder of life” he had fallen off the bottom rung.
What struck me was the crowd of people that the man had to wade through in order to approach Jesus.  How much abuse did he endure that day as the crowds from the Sermon on the Mount flowed around him.  How many whacks with a cane or stick?  How many times was he yelled at and spit upon?  He had to have felt overwhelmed and lost in that crowd of people.
Thank God though, that Jesus is especially gifted at finding those things that are lost.  In the midst of the clamoring and shouting around him, Jesus heard the small specific cry of one lost man, “If you are willing Jesus, you can make me clean.”  Wow.  Wow that the man had such powerful faith to persevere through his journey to Jesus.  And wow that Jesus didn’t let him remain lost in the crowd.
Maybe recently you have felt like the man with leprosy.  Pushed to the edge and lost in the crowd.  Take heart--Jesus hears you and he says to each of us, “I am willing, be clean.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

weddings

Many other pastors I know do not enjoy officiating wedding ceremonies.  I love it.  Even after I admit the following:  Most couples will not remember what I had to say as soon as the certificate is signed and the drinks have been served.  I take no offense to this.  This is one of those growing number of times where I realize it is not about me.  I'm mostly there as a back drop for photographs.


The days,weeks and sometimes months, leading up to the big day, though are priceless.  It is a humble joy to be invited into some of life's most tectonic struggles.  Couples come in to see me.  I invite them to sit down and communication launches in to high gear.  After dropping off my suitcase and taking a seat,  I turn to see a couple in an obvious "situation".  First - He is as far from the opposite end of the couch of his bride as possible.  If you could project his body further it would be somewhere between "a long way down", and the "edge of tomorrow."  If I can just keep them from running out the door I'll be ecstatic.


Somehow I do manage to keep both of them in the room.  And over the next 4 months, we share joys, laughter, dark hurts, simple silly sadnesses and a deepening conviction for God's Holy and righteous will to somehow bless and protect this sweet couple.


After pronouncing them "Husband and Wife" I'm left feeling a little empty.  As they walk down that beautiful rose trimmed white walkway I get very reflective.


There goes the two people that I have prayed with and for.  I desperately want each of them to succeed.  I want them to see marriage like I do: the best idea God ever had.


My wife is the best.  Hands down.  There may be more driven wives, or more organized wives, their might even be more outdoorsy adventuresome wives, and I suppose somewhere there could even be a more beautiful wife.  But what my wife does for me, none others will even come close.  Just four simple rules that make me want to keep running into her beautiful slender arms every time.  So here they are:


1.  She assumes the best in me.
This is huge.  I don't know about the rest of you, but I can tend to screw stuff up from time to time.  I misspeak.  I unintentionally say something hurtful.  Yet through it all, she assumes that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her.  Therefore she is left with a choice.  Assume I made a mistake or that she just doesn't understand what I'm saying.  She assumes the best in me, whether I deserve it or not.
2.  She fights fair
We made an agreement only a few months into our marriage that those things that have hurt us by the other person, if they have been addressed, must remain in the past.  There is no more pulling those things out of the closet and using them in a (fun for everyone) game of Lawn Darts to the Cerebral Cortex.  No one ever wins that game.  So we stopped playing it.
3.  She helps present us as a United Front.  There are no back doors in our marriage.  No one is storming the gates of these walls.  No sir.  She can trust that in any and every situation I will defend her honor, her virtue and the sanctity of our marriage.  When there are issues within, then we will trust each other to challenge privately but to support publicly.  Marriage becomes an independent country that must repel all invaders (no matter how good their intentions may be) to ensure continued integrity and continuity.
4.  She helps hold us to the value that no good talks happen after 10 p.m..  It may not be as philosophical as the previous, but it has the power to protect from some of the most dangerous mine fields of marriage - Later than that and someone is going to get too tired to hold on to points 1-3.  In laymen's terms, you're just asking for someone to say something stupid.  I'm just sayin'. I warned you.